I still remember the early days of our marriage—when everything felt new and effortless. We could talk for hours about nothing, laugh until our stomachs hurt, and look at each other like the rest of the world just disappeared.
Now? Well, now we have bills, laundry, loud mornings, and long to-do lists. We’ve traded late-night talks for “Did you remember to take the trash out?” and spontaneous dates for speed-eating dinner while the kids fight over the last chicken nugget.
And still—I wouldn’t trade this for anything.
Because through the chaos, I’ve learned a few things. Real things. Marriage isn’t made up of grand romantic gestures every day. It’s the little things. It’s the hard lessons. And honestly? It’s learning when to just let things go.
Stop Arguing About the Dumb Stuff
You know what I used to think? That I needed to be right. All the time. Like somehow, winning the argument about where the laundry basket belongs was a victory worth celebrating.
Spoiler: it’s not.
I’ve learned that most of the stuff we argue about? Doesn’t matter. Not really. Whether the towels are folded “the right way,” or someone forgot to buy almond milk again—those things don’t deserve front-row seats in our marriage. Sometimes, the best move is just taking a breath, shaking your head with a smile, and moving on.
Say Sorry—Even When You Think You’re Right
There were nights when I wanted to stand my ground. I’d cross my arms, climb into bed, and stare at the ceiling, convinced I had the moral high ground. But you know what that got me?
A long night.
And two people who both felt misunderstood.
I’ve learned that saying “I’m sorry” doesn’t mean you’re wrong—it means you care more about the relationship than the argument. Sometimes, it’s better to be at peace than be right. That one took me a while to learn (okay, maybe I’m still learning), but it’s one of the most powerful tools we have.
Never Go to Bed Angry (Even If It Means Staying Up Late)
There’s a saying: never go to bed angry. I used to think it was cliché. But now? I get it.
Letting anger linger overnight builds walls. And we’ve worked too hard building a life together to let walls get in the way. So even on the hardest days, we’ve made it a rule—talk it out, hug it out, laugh it out if we can. But never let the day end with distance between us.
Even if we’re both exhausted and running on fumes, even if all we can manage is a whispered “I love you,” that little moment of connection matters. A lot more than we think.
Yes, Intimacy Still Exists—If You Keep It Alive
You’ve probably heard the joke: “Sex stops when you get married.”
And yeah, between the stress, the kids, the bills, the back pain, and the “Did you seriously fall asleep during the movie again?” moments—it can feel like romance is a relic of the past.
But let me say this clearly:
Things only stop if you let them.
Love doesn’t fade after marriage unless you stop feeding it. Intimacy doesn’t disappear unless you stop showing up for it.
You have to flirt on purpose. Make time on purpose. Shut the bedroom door and ignore the dishes on purpose.
Because a healthy physical connection? It’s still one of the best reminders that, under the mess and madness, you’re still two people who chose each other.
Not just co-parents or roommates—lovers. Still.
Sometimes that means setting the phones down. Sometimes it means laughing when the dog starts barking in the middle of a moment. Sometimes it means being intentional, even when you’re exhausted.
And sometimes? It just means making out like teenagers and seeing where it goes. Don’t let the spark die—fan the flame a little. Or a lot.
What I Know Now
Marriage isn’t easy. It’s beautiful, but it’s work. It’s a partnership where both people are constantly growing, learning, and messing up—but choosing each other anyway.
It’s:
- Choosing love over ego.
- Saying sorry even when your pride would rather not.
- Laughing when things go sideways.
- Letting go of the things that just don’t matter.
- Holding hands in the middle of the mess and saying, “We’ve got this.”
It’s not perfect—but it’s ours. And every day I get to wake up and do this life with you? That’s a blessing I don’t take for granted.
So yes, before the bills, the laundry, and the chaos—there was us.
But even now, in the thick of all of it…
There’s still us.
Stronger, wiser, and just a little better at folding towels (maybe).